Oh Captain, my Captain..

On a serious note, can we talk about depression, anxiety and other mental health issues that are very present in our society, whether we want it or not.
Can we stop for a second and really reflect upon the severity of it?

We're not talking about having a bad day here, we're not talking about being a little sad and we are certainly not talking about something that a person inflict upon themselves.
Before you belittle it, before you add to the stigmatization of it, think on it.


Can you imagine your body turning it's back on you in such a way? Nobody questions the frustration following any other physical illness. Nobody finds it odd that you get angry at your body for not fighting the cancer, giving you migraines or whatever other weirdly, but socially accepted illness. But when a body fails to keep the proper chemical balance for your mood to be stable, suddenly people should just grow up and stop thinking so much about it. What are you, an asshole?

Can you imagine wanting to die? Or actually, I believe very few really wants to die, it's just that they can't find another way out. Can you imagine that? Feeling so trapped, so low, that the only relief you find is to end your own life.
Let the horrific notion of that sink in. You are so beyond what any measure of love, laughter or success could relieve. It's your brain saying "Fuck you! You're not worth any of it!" Sometimes for years on end, all your own mind is telling you is that you're worthless, in a very true meaning of the word, and you have no control over it.

Depression surely is a demon. One that resides within your mind. Claiming your whole life, one piece at a time. Isolating you from everything you hold dear. Constantly whispering in your ear, clawing your insides trying to gain full control. And if he does, well.. he wins, you loose, everyone looses.

Depression could be something that follows a trauma. It is indeed a step in the grieving process for example. It can overcome you when life gets out of control but..and..it can also be a life long struggle independent of external events.

So the next time you are about to open your mouth about someone who's seemingly not doing much of themselves. Pay attention.
Are you sure their behavior is that of someone who could just snap their fingers and "grow up"?
Does sleeping 18hrs/day, barely eating, not finding joy among loved ones or anything in life really, seem healthy to you? Does it seem like something a person would actually choose?
Would you? ...No?
Then what kind of person does it make you, to think that of others?

After Mr Williams untimely passing, I was reading about it. Reading the outpour of love and grief and it stirred up so many feelings from my past. I'd say that I, myself, have seen it closely too many times. Felt that heart-wrenching feeling of absolute helplessness. And I guess, here I am.. later on, with about as much distance as you could muster to these things.. Aiming my anger and frustration at a society that doesn't care to recognize the severity, the pain and the suffering that has hurt people that I so deeply love and have loved.

Previously talking about daring to share your creativity, well, here I go.
I hope you get to hear the song at some point, professionally recorded and ready for your ears but until then, I give you my take on this issue, lyrics only;


Bring Him Back
L.Burlin 2014

I have seen him, I've seen the Devil’s face.
Felt the touch, of his demons cold embrace.
There ain’t nothing, that a simple man could do.
Once the battle is lost, they have won, no matter what you do.
My heart lay broken, in a thousand pieces on the floor.
I know God can’t grant me, the one thing I’d ask him for.
Yet I’m falling, down on my rugged knees,
asking yet again, God won’t you please.
Bring him back, or bring him home,
bring him peace, like he’s never known.
Bring him back, or bring him home,
bring him peace, like he’s never known.
On a cold winter’s morning, oh the air grew too thin
couldn’t fight no more, gotta go, I’m givin’ in.
Baby baby baby, oh how I wish you well,
but I ain’t been the same,since that cold winter’s day.
My heart is broken, it hurts within my soul.
I know God can’t grant me, the one thing I’d ask him for
Bring him back, or bring him home,
bring him peace, like he’s never known.
I am broken, I can’t breathe no more.
it is getting colder,
every minute every hour.
Bring me back, or bring me home..
Please give me peace, like I’ve never known.